How to use reward charts to influence your child’s behaviour

Influencing your child’s behaviour can be a challenge. But there are some practical tools that can help. Reward charts are a great tool for encouraging specific behaviours you want to see from your child. They can also be handy when rewarding your child for practising a new skill.

We’ve asked our counselling team to explain what rewards charts are, and how you can use them to influence your child’s behaviour.

First things first, reward charts are appropriate from about the age of three until 12 or 13 years of age. Consider your child’s age and development when deciding if reward charts are appropriate for you.

How to influence your child’s behaviour using a reward chart

Making an effort to notice your child’s good behaviour will go a long way in helping them create permanent change.

Reward charts often show a positive behaviour or goal you want your child to achieve. For example, using their manners, setting the table or doing their own shoe laces.

Each time your child does the behaviour well, they get a tick or sticker. After a certain number of ticks, they get a reward.

It’s important to remember to give your child a tick or sticker straight after the behaviour. This helps to reinforce the action in the moment. If they fail to earn a star, try not to dwell on it and avoid saying things like “you won’t get any stars if you keep acting like this”.

The idea behind a ‘sticker’ or ‘tick’ chart is to reward the child, not to punish or bribe them. In other words, you’re not taking away stickers or rubbing out ticks if your little one misbehaves. And you’re not giving them a sticker or tick to make them stop having a tantrum.

TOP TIP: Choosing short-term rewards are great to keep your child engaged in the reward chart long-term.

Rewards don’t have to be physical gifts, either. You could go on a family bike ride, have one-on-one time with mum or dad, or let your child stay up half an hour later on a school night. If you want to give a gift, how about a new book or small toy? This keeps the reward chart interesting and doable for both child and parent!

How to set up a reward chart to change my child’s behaviour

Reward charts come in many different forms. You can use a physical chart on the fridge or wall, or you could even use an app.

If you’d like to set up your own chart, start with a list of behaviours you want to encourage. Once you’ve decided these, use clear and positive descriptions for each behaviour. Talk through each one with your child and let them know how reward charts work.

Remember: be positive. Reward chards are not meant to be a negative experience, so make sure your child knows this. Tell them (and follow it through) that you will give encouragement or stickers when you see your child is making an effort; they don’t have to nail the task or skill every time.

When it’s time to make the reward chart, choose what works for you! You can type a reward chart one up on a computer, use a whiteboard, or check out your local stationery shop for a pre-made version. Alternatively, you can find many different, downloadable versions on the internet.

TOP TIP: Why not create a physical reward chart with your child as a fun activity?

All you need is some arts and craft supplies, and a clear idea about the kinds of behaviour you want to use the chart for. This activity will give your little one increased ownership and a stake in what you’re both working towards.